Let’s have a ‘sex KiKi’



coriama couture (pictured) hosts monthly “sex KiKis,” events in which attendees can embrace what femininity means to them in relation to the month’s theme. 

By Arts & Culture Reporter

Discussions on topics like “platonic touch” and what that means to each person present fuel monthly “sex KiKis.”

Hosted by creator coriama couture, the meetups help attendees embrace and discuss the intersections of sexuality, femininity and being a person of color.

coriama couture started the sex KiKis in early 2014 to foster a space where femininity could be expressed regardless of gender identity. The sex KiKi podcasts began in January 2016 to help attendees and couture reflect on the time they spent together. Each meetup is hosted in a different location, and the address is given only to the people who RSVP, couture said. 

The theme for March’s sex KiKi was “platonic touch” and what that meant to people, couture said. couture does not disclose the theme of a month’s sex KiKi prior to the event and only tells attendees the theme after everyone has agreed to the required rules for the session. 

The sex KiKis have five golden rules: disagreements are OK; the room does not have ears, meaning everything said is confidential; have an open mind; step up and step back, encourage more people to speak and let others speak; and “don’t yuck a yum,” meaning do not disrespect someone’s preference.

“We started with talking about platonic touch and then paired up,” couture said. “We did fist bumps, hugs [and] kisses, and after each level, we reflected on how we felt about it.”

Each “platonic touch” was timed for 20 seconds, and couture said if anyone felt uncomfortable with any of the exercises at the sex KiKis, they were free to leave without being judged.

couture works with Caprice Dominique, owner of Elaine Madeline Beauty Studio, 233 E. Erie St., as an aesthetician, specializing in brows, facials and waxing, to help people learn to appreciate and value their own beauty. The studio’s grand opening was April 9.

“[At the beauty studio], I’m just cultivating that healing space, especially for feminine, femme-identified people to have a space to breathe easy and relax,” couture said.

Dominique, who has known couture for many years, has also attended one of her sex KiKis.

“[The sex KiKi] was very eye-opening because some of the lingo I had no idea about, and seeing people’s opinions on different topics I found fascinating,” Dominique said.

In October 2015, couture starred in a short teaser video to promote the “Searching for Isabelle” film project about black female identity.

“‘Searching for Isabelle’ is creating space for people to see the dimensions of black female identity and what it means to be taken or to disappear and what that means for the family or the community in connection with the person,” couture said.

Stephanie Jeter—writer, editor and producer of “Searching for Isabelle” and the promotional videos—said she has attended a couple of couture’s sex KiKis in the past and enjoyed the open and honest experience.

“[couture] sets a good precedent in the beginning of each session, where people can relax, so whatever they’re saying is in confidence, and they can be very open about their personal experiences,” Jeter said.

couture said while past sex KiKis have been playful with their themes, she wants April’s event to have a more serious tone to help people who need that kind of environment.

“[The sex KiKis] give people the opportunity to really process and maybe break through some uncomfortable topics and see how through discomfort we can create value,” couture said.

Sex KiKi podcasts, as well as information about future sex KiKis, are available at coriamacouture.com.