‘It’s like climbing up a f–kin’ mountain if you got on slippers’

By Managing Editor

A penis may not be the only thing the Wu-Tang clan has recently lost.

After clan-affiliated emcee Andre Johnson lost his pee-pee to PCP and a kitchen knife, the crew announced that the long-awaited 20th anniversary album A Better Tomorrow, which was slated to come out in July, may not be released.

Well, not in so many words. When the Wu released “Keep Watch,” the first single off their upcoming album, clan member Raekwon’s absence hinted at an even more detrimental split from the group than Johnson’s johnson-—he’s been M.I.A. from the entire recording process and probably isn’t coming back. In his April 17 Rolling Stone interview, Raekwon was asked to rank the chances of him appearing on A Better Tomorrow on a scale of 1 – 10. 

“We at a two right now,” he said. “It’s like climbing up a f–kin’ mountain if you got on slippers.”

Wu-Tang member RZA rebuttal-ed in a April 23 Sports Illustrated interview and gave an official deadline for the emcee to end his Wu strike:  “If we don’t come to terms [with Raekwon] within the next 30 days, then this will either be an album without Raekwon or an album that never sees the light of day. That’s a strong potential. I would not want to put out a Wu-Tang album without every live member available …. We need him there. I want him there.”

The Wu-Tang fam might need more than 30 days to repair this severed member. 

“RZA’s the type of dude where, in the ’90s, he ruled,” Raekwon said. “Now it’s a new day. You’re not attached no more. It’s like being a coach and you won rings back in the day, but now your team is in ninth place. It’s time for a new f–king game plan.”

Apparently this debacle isn’t going to affect the one-copy release of their 31-track album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. If nothing else, Wu fans can just pool their resources and bid on the uber rare, hella expensive album—which is now going for more than $5 million.