When I was 6 years old, I stole icing out of a jar my mom was saving for a cake. I felt so guilty that I told my mom as soon as she got home. She thanked me for being honest and told me not to do it again. Based on that experience, I realized honesty is the way to go, not only with my family, but with every other relationship, as well.

Over the next 16 years, two more rules developed alongside the first-honesty, communication and no expectations.

Complete honesty: Sometimes, when I tell people that honesty is the way to go, they confront me with questions like, “What do you tell someone who asks you if that dress makes them look fat?” But honesty has nothing to do with opinions.

Honesty can be summed up like this: Express every relevant thing you have done in the past, you are doing in the present and what you plan to do in the future.

It’s important to relate your past because it allows people figure out how they can expect you to act. In the present, you have to be honest with yourself so people can see the true you. For the future, people can hear how your plans coincide and where they conflict-everything else is just detail.

Communicate all your needs and wants: Clear communication is difficult because you don’t want to seem pushy, but you don’t want to seem like a pushover. When you get down to it and express yourself, two things happen: People get concrete examples, and you get to see how ridiculous or reasonable your wants really are.

An example is if you and your partner agree not to cheat. You can leave it at that, but what does it mean? Does it mean just not having sex, or is flirting a problem, as well? Can you sleep over at a friend’s house even if you are “just friends?”

A simple agreement to not cheat is a lot more complicated than it may present itself to be. This is why clarity is so important.

Bring no expectations to the table: This might be the hardest rule to follow, but also the most rewarding. When your boyfriend fails to pick you up from the airport, or your girlfriend spends so much money shopping that she can’t afford to go out with you, it can be irritating. But if you haven’t clearly expressed these wants, you really have no right to be angry about these actions.

When you have no expectations, it is easy to forgive. After you forgive, you can communicate what you want to happen next time and are sure to find more success.

These rules won’t save every relationship, and it will make some end abrubtly-but those are relationships you wouldn’t want to be in anyway. The ones that work out end up being much more satisfying.

If your idea of romance is spending days fuming about something your partner did, or breaking up in a fit of rage, then these rules aren’t for you. But if you enjoy simple, meaningful relationships, these rules will help you be more self-assured, more forgiving and simply, more happy.