Sara Haynes, therapist at Relationship 

Reality 312

What are healthy ways to handle rejection?

“Surrounding yourself [with] friends and family who know you, even journaling and reflecting on the rejection that happened. Just taking care of yourself and getting out and doing the things you already love can build you up after experiencing a rejection.”

What are some unhealthy ways people deal with rejection?

 “A lot of negative self-talk can pop into your mind like, ‘Why me?’ [or] ‘What did I do wrong?’ It’s important to be able to shift your perspective and think about all the positive qualities you bring to the table to quiet that negative self-talk that occurs when rejection happens. Be compassionate toward yourself and remember that you deserve to be chosen when it comes to dating.”

What should someone avoid doing when rejecting someone?

“Skirting around the actual conversation that needs to be had. Ghosting is very prevalent—ignoring the person and not giving them that direct answer that needs to be said and the conversation that needs to be had. Ignoring it exacerbates the situation and brings on those negative feelings. Just be honest and direct.”

Lindsay Hampton, sophomore interdisciplinary major

“In middle school on Valentine’s Day, I made origami hearts, and each one had a separate message for this guy I was super into. I figured out his class schedule and found a friend in every single class to give him an origami heart each period. I was going to meet up with him during lunch.  The last heart said, ‘Meet me here,’ but he never showed.”

Blaise Mesa, managing editor

“I was dating someone for a year and a half, and it was our senior prom, so I had bought us both tickets. A week before prom, I give her the tickets, and she said, ‘Guess what? I’m going with someone else.’ She gave me my ticket [back], so I was able to go. But she took the ticket I paid for her to go, [worth] like $75, and took some [other] guy.”

Dalin Nelson, sophomore cinema arts and science major 

“I was in 4th grade. I liked this girl for a couple years, [but] I didn’t have the courage to actually ask her out. So I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to her. We were alone, so it wasn’t like I was secretly asking her, I totally could have done it in person. But I handed her the note, and [it said], ‘Hey, I like you, want to go out?’ She said, ‘No, sorry, I don’t feel that way.’”

Alexis Erey, sophomore cinema art and science major

“My best friend in high school told me he really liked me. I had to figure out the best way to explain to him that I love him, I really do, but it’s just not like that. Also because he was my best friend, I didn’t want to lose him. I told him no, and for a week, he was quiet. But then right after that, we were right back on the same page, the same thing as always, if not closer. I still call him once a week.”

Bridget Ekis, staff reporter

“In [the] summer of 2017, I matched with this guy on Tinder, and we went on one date. I remember following up after the date; I was texting him. I always try and figure out what these Tinder boys are up to. He casually was like, ‘Well, I’m taking this math class this summer, and it’s really stressful. I just don’t think, at this time in my life, I have enough time to dedicate to a relationship.’ Conclusion: A boy picked Calculus over me.”

Fernanda Weissbuch, graphic designer

“I dated this guy when I was 15, he was a little older, like 18, [and] he broke up with me. A couple years later, he asked to see me again, and I said, ‘No, I don’t want to see you.’ He said he felt bad about how we ended, and [that he’d] like to potentially get back together. I said no, and something snapped in him. [He said], ‘I bled on your front porch. I got stabbed at a party, and I went to your house’—but I didn’t live there anymore. [He continued and said], ‘I had to call 911, and I got arrested.’ It is true because I did get a call from [him in] jail. I said, ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry?’ I blocked him, and I never talked to him again.”

Tracy Marasigan, sophomore multimedia journalism major

“I was on Tinder, and I didn’t have a plan to meet up with anyone. I started messaging this guy, and I gave him my number and everything. I stated before that I just wanted to be friends. We didn’t talk for two days, and [then] he went, ‘Hey, you’re like the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I just really want to take you out to a nice restaurant. You wear something nice, and I’ll wear something nice. I’ll pick you up, and we’ll go out and have a great, grand time.’ I said, ‘Lol you’re a nice guy. I don’t really want to be with anyone right now. Thanks, but no thanks.’ And then he said, ‘K b—- bye.’”