Trump: Jobs are hard

That's really a wrap this time

That's really a wrap this time

By Zoë Eitel

In an April 28 report that sounds more like it would come from The Onion than Reuters, President Donald Trump said he thought being president would be easier than being the CEO of a bunch of bankrupt companies.

Sure, being the leader of the free world is a demanding and difficult job that Trump was inarguably unqualified for and unprepared to take on, but how was he supposed to know he couldn’t just have Steve Bannon, Vice President Mike Pence and Jared Kushner do everything for him?

With Trump unhappy in his current position, I’m wondering if there are any fictional jobs that would show the picky commander-in-chief how good he’s really got it. 

 

Hogwarts professor

“Harry Potter”

Specifically for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, these professors have a hard time keeping their jobs, let alone their lives, for more than a year in the position. Professor Quirrell dissolved into dust before finals were even over. Because Trump has found his current job too hard after just 100 days in office, there’s no way he would last even that long at Hogwarts. It’s also hard to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts when you are the real-world incarnation of Voldemort.

 

King of Westeros

“Game of Thrones”

With the dreaded winter here, white walkers heading south and people all over the seven kingdoms vying for the iron throne, the leader of Westeros has a lot more to deal with than Trump does with America, and that starts with trying to stay alive and in power for more than a week. Whether it’s a boar attack, being poisoned on your wedding day or a stab in your back by your kingsguard, danger is around every corner for the king, no matter how much money he spends on his Secret Service detail.

 

Sheriff of Beacon Hills

“Teen Wolf”

Sheriff Stilinski was eventually clued in on the existence of the werewolves and other supernatural beings in his town, but even then, there’s not much a human police officer can do against murderous lizard monsters and ghost riders who kidnap people. Trump is usually the most clueless man in the room, exemplified by his saying he bombed Iraq when it was actually Syria he attacked, so it would be nearly impossible for him to keep track of all the supernatural creatures in Beacon Hills.

 

Head gamekeeper

“The Hunger Games”

Another position in which it’s hard to stay alive, the head gamekeeper for the annual Hunger Games has to create intrigue and keep viewers’ attention while not inadvertently making the tributes martyrs for a rebellion. The late Head Gamekeeper Seneca Crane majorly messed up and pissed off President Snow, which lead to his death-by-berries. Trump has no problem creating drama with anything he says, but he also has a knack for making people angry, so I wouldn’t count on a second year of Head Gamekeeper Trump.

 

Walker

“The Walking Dead”

Though the zombies on this show have much in common with our fearless leader, such as little to no use of their brains, Trump would make a terrible walker. He can never keep his mouth shut, and walkers are a little less threatening when they make vulgar comments about their daughters while trying to eat you.