THE SEX ISSUE 

Conversations about women’s pleasure are more visible than ever, but for many heterosexual women, the experience of sex has not changed.

Despite decades of sexual health research, heterosexual women continue to orgasm less frequently than men. The disparity, known as the orgasm gap, is most pronounced in heterosexual encounters where experts say longstanding cultural definitions of sex still center male pleasure.

“Sex is often defined around penetration, which in most cases reliably leads to orgasm for men but not for most women,” said Rachel Berg, a certified sex therapist and practice director at Soleil Psychotherapy in the Wrigleyville neighborhood of Chicago. “Add in cultural messages that prioritize and encourage male pleasure and minimize or ignore female pleasure, and you get a system where men’s orgasms are expected and women’s are conditional.”

While orgasm is not required for sexual pleasure, researchers often use it as one measure of sexual satisfaction, and that measure consistently reveals a gap.

A study done by The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2024 found that across all ages, men of any sexual orientations reported higher orgasm rates during sex, from 70–85%, compared with 46–58% for women. 

Lesbian and bisexual women reported higher orgasm rates than their heterosexual counterparts. In a study done by sexual health researchers, 86% of lesbian women and 66% of bisexual women reported that they usually or always orgasm during sexual encounters, according to the National Library of Medicine. 

The roots of the orgasm gap can be traced back to how sex is introduced and explained to people from a young age. 

There is no federal law requiring sex education in public schools in the United States, leaving those decisions up to state and local governments. 

Of the 42 states that require students to take at least one sex education course, only 19 mandate medically accurate instruction— and five of those apply the rule to specific topics only, such as abstinence, sexually transmitted infections and child abuse prevention, according to a study published in September in the American Journal of Public Health. 

When sex education is taught in schools, students are often separated by gender. In these groups, they learn about their developing bodies, what’s normal and the basics of reproduction. 

This form of segregation can exclude students beyond the gender binary and limit the scope of information they receive about sex and sexuality.

These conversations are intended to help children understand the physical changes of puberty, according to Mayo Clinic.

In practice, however, the content is often uneven. Puberty lessons for boys commonly address erections and masturbation, while instruction for girls typically focuses on menstruation, with arousal and masturbation often omitted.

Experts say that while this information is foundational, relying on it alone can leave students with an incomplete understanding of sex as they mature and finish puberty.

As a result, Berg said women often grow up with less understanding of their own sexual health and what healthy sex and pleasure can look like. Men, by contrast, are more likely to receive direct messaging about their sexual function, which can shape expectations that are not equally paired to their partners. 

“Women are socialized to be emotional and relational managers. They often learn implicitly that their role is to be a sexual accessory to men,” Berg said. “Their job during sex is to be desirable, accommodating, emotionally attuned and responsive to their partner’s experience.”

Grace Hopp, a junior film and television major, has noticed this expectation during intimate encounters. 

“Typically, when men are taught about sex, they’re taught about what they want and what they like. When women are taught about sex, they’re taught about what men want and what men like,” Hopp said. “I think men feel like they have some entitlement that sex is only over once they finish.”

A lack of comprehensive sex education can shape expectations about what sex should look like, making communication within sexual relationships more difficult later in life.

“Instead of taking a harder route and talking to the people around them, which takes some vulnerability that people are scared of these days. They take the easy route and go to porn, which is not even real sex, and that’s what they think. ‘Oh yeah, that’s how it’s gonna be,’” Hopp said. 

About 58% of Americans report having watched pornography at some point in their life. The widespread availability of pornography online has made it easier to access, and most young adults report having watched pornography, but associate it with negative connotations about social outcomes, according to the American Survey Center.

Angelina Romano, a sophomore acting for stage and screen major, said she understands that for many women, orgasm through intercourse alone can be difficult. She encourages women to explore what feels pleasurable on their own so they are able to share that with their partner. 

“When you’re emotionally connected to somebody, it’s definitely easier to be vulnerable and show that side of yourself,” Romano said. “Make sure you’re both comfortable and maybe shift the focus to making sure that you’re both enjoying it, even if you have trouble getting there.” 

Bryce Kruljac, a junior public relations major, said that from a mechanical standpoint, it can be easier for men to orgasm than women. 

According to sexual health experts, men are able to reach orgasm through penile stimulation alone, while women often need sustained clitoral and vaginal stimulation, which can’t always be achieved through penetrative intercourse. Still, Kruljac emphasized the importance of communication when issues like these arise.

“Be open, be transparent,” Kruljac said. “Sometimes it’s hard to articulate but be as clear as possible with your needs because at the end of the day, they are your needs.” 

While research suggests the burden of closing the orgasm gap often falls on women, pressure around performance and expectations of orgasm can negatively affect everyone involved. Shifting the focus away from outcomes and toward connection can change the experience for both partners. 

“I would encourage anyone who is straight [and] having sex to talk about what feels good, and expand their definition and understanding of sex and pleasure,” Berg said. “Pleasure is something learned together, not a skill or knowledge one partner is responsible for knowing and delivering.”

Copy edited by Venus Tapang