Whether you swipe right on Tinder, scroll through social media or tackle the hook-up culture, the concept of dating surrounds us.
We are constantly watching celebrities leap into new relationships, the most recent being Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Their engagement began just a month after Grande split with rapper Mac Miller. Shortly after Miller’s death, Davidson and Grande announced the end to their short engagement.
Watching celebrities get engaged, married and divorced so fast makes my head spin, and it has become a norm. We date on and off and “fall in love” with every person we encounter.
People in their early 20s need to understand they will change, and, more importantly, that there are consequences for making commitments while both parties are still early in adulthood. Most of us are uncertain, seeking independence and learning how to live on our own. During this period, attitudes, wants, needs and attractions are more likely to transform.
Today’s technology allows more access to people than ever before. Social psychology has demonstrated there is a special allure to having so many choices, and having many suitors was no exception to this rule. This theory is supported by Dr. Liraz Margalit in a 2011 Psychology Today article: “People love to have many options, even if they only exist in theory.” When too many options are given to us, it’s easier to choose the wrong one.
Going on a few dates to figure out what you do and don’t like about a person is beneficial and healthy. However, I have a problem with couples rushing into a serious relationship, falling head over heels and then getting their hearts broken when the “fling” fails. Choosing someone worth waiting for is more beneficial.
Instant gratification has become a trend. A culture of impatience has been caused by easy access to TV shows streamed in seconds, and we can receive immediate interaction and validation from social media. This same need for instant gratification has automatically become expected in the dating world. We are always looking for that next “like,” “follow” and now ,“match.”
But rushing into relationships often yields pain.
As young adults, we are beginning careers and establishing a sense of self. When we put pressure on each other to find a soulmate, we take away from growing alone and molding ourselves into unique individuals.
We need to remember that someone who we think is perfect for us now might not be perfect for who we may become. We should be living for ourselves. Being in a relationship does not mean we have succeeded. Accept that it’s OK to be single in a world of people rushing to change their relationship status.